


Significance

by the_gramophone



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Alive Hale Family, Angst, Deputy Derek, Derek Has Issues, Insecurity, Jealousy, Librarian Stiles, M/M, Oblivious Stiles, Pining, so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-04
Updated: 2014-05-04
Packaged: 2018-01-21 22:27:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1566275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_gramophone/pseuds/the_gramophone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since he almost got his family killed as a teenager, Derek Hale has tried to just keep to himself, and limit the damage he could do.  Meeting Stiles Stilinski is the first time he's wanted more than the quiet life he's made for himself, but he doesn't know how to ask for it. </p><p>It doesn't help that a certain handsome deputy seems to be demanding an awful lot of Stiles' time as well. Derek doesn't know if he should let Stiles go with the better man, or learn to stand up for what he wants.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Significance

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this after a Very Bad Day and I decided to exorcise all my feelings onto unsuspecting fictional characters. Basically I decided to take all of my angst and give it to Derek. Sorry.
> 
> Also I based how the Beacon Hills Police Department works more on my dad's police department, and less how it works in TV world. There are such things as shifts. No one is there all the time. 
> 
> Much thanks and love to Ruthann, my first reader and cheerleader, and Sarah, my tireless and endlessly patient beta, who loves me despite my adverb addiction. Couldn't do it without you guys :)

When he was in high school, there was no one like Derek Hale. He was funny, handsome, and athletic – everything a popular teenage boy should be. He had a date every weekend, and a large group of friends to hang out with. Derek believed, with all the arrogant naiveté of the young, that he would always be so fortunate. 

He wasn’t. 

On his sixteenth birthday, he met a woman. She was older and beautiful, and she utterly captivated Derek. He felt special that she chose him to be with. He often wondered how he could have been so lucky. 

Except, of course, he wasn’t. He discovered he meant nothing to Kate, after she tried to burn down his family’s house. Kate’s father had once been in business with Derek’s, until they had a disagreement they simply could not reconcile. Once the lawyers were done, Mr. Hale had the business, Mr. Argent got a sizable settlement, and they parted ways. Mr. Argent quickly blew through the money on failed ventures and gambling debts. Kate could not forgive the Hales for taking what she considered her birthright, and had decided to take matters into her own hands. 

Derek did not understand this for a long time. He didn’t care why she had done it. All he knew was that the woman he loved had used him, manipulating him so thoroughly that he had given her a key to the house she tried to burn. 

High school changed. No one wanted to be seen with the boy who was so stupid he almost got his family killed. Girls – and boys – avoided him like the plague. His friends screened his calls until he stopped trying. He quit the basketball team, and tried to keep his head down until he could leave Beacon Hills and go to college. 

He had never intended to settle in Beacon Hills. He wanted to get as far away as possible. And he tried. After college, he went through the police academy in San Francisco, and got a good job there working the night shift. But when his father became ill, he knew he had come home to support his family. 

Four years later, his father had recovered, and Derek was still working third shift with the Beacon Hills Police Department. By the time his father was in remission, Derek felt too entrenched back in Beacon Hills to consider moving away again. His family was here, and he knew now more than ever how lucky he was to have them. So Derek braced himself for the occasional painful reminder of his past deeds and kept to himself whenever possible. Most cops liked working the day shifts, but Derek preferred the night. He could be alone, without the harsh stares of those who remembered what he did, only speaking when he had to pull someone over. 

Derek’s life was quiet, but he thought it was okay. He had a few friends – or rather, his sisters did, but they seemed to like him well enough. He had a good job, and his own apartment. Laura had even given him a cat for his last birthday. Sure, it was because she was mocking him for being essentially a 27 year old recluse, but he liked Luna. She kept him company, and didn’t mind that he kept odd hours. It gave him someone to come home to, who was always glad to see him. 

It would be nice if that someone was a human being, but this was fine too. 

Derek knew his family worried about him, and he knew that they missed the old Derek. But that Derek just didn’t exist anymore. Derek didn’t know how to be that carefree young man anymore, who laughed loudly and talked easily with strangers without wondering about the motives behind their smiles. He kept to himself, and the people he loved stayed safe. 

It was a good system, until he met Stiles Stilinski. 

He had heard about the Sheriff’s son before, of course. The Sheriff had a few photos in his office, and he always talked about his son, away getting his master’s in library science. A lot of the older officers seemed to know Stiles from him always hanging around the station growing up, but Derek had never met him. He didn’t seem to come home on breaks often, staying away to finish his degree faster. 

It was a beautiful evening in May when Derek met him. The air was warm and lovely, the type of night that held all the promise of the summer ahead after a long winter. Derek was running late, after loitering in the parking lot, enjoying the warmth. He just barely had time to make it to the locker room and change into his uniform before getting to the shift change meeting. 

The meeting was short. Not much happened on third shift. Despite what television wants you to think, most crimes happen during the day, when people are at school or work. The night shift mostly handled drunk drivers and speeders, with the occasional domestic call. 

Derek was leaving the meeting room when he saw him across the bullpen, standing next to the Sheriff. He was breathtaking. Derek had never seen a man that beautiful before, with his lean body and dark brown hair, mussed just enough that Derek wanted to wrap his fingers in it and _tug_. 

“It’s nice that Stiles is back, isn’t it?” Derek turned to see Officer McDougal, an older woman who had been with the department for twenty years now. “I know Sheriff has missed him.”

“That’s the Sheriff’s son?” asked Derek. 

“You’ve never met? No, I suppose you wouldn’t have.” McDougal smiled fondly at the two men in the corner. “Stiles just graduated over the weekend, and he’s home for good now. I think he already has a job lined up with the library.”

“Good for him,” said Derek awkwardly. He didn’t want to keep talking about the subject. It only reinforced how the man he was currently lusting after was the son of his boss. “I’d better get out there. I’ll see you later, McDougal.” He clapped her on the shoulder before walking out to his patrol car. 

Derek was running his car through the normal pre-shift checks of the sirens and lights when Stiles himself approached him. 

“Hi!” Stiles grinned at Derek, who stared at him in shock for a moment before realizing he should shut the sirens off now. Blushing, he ducked inside the car and switched them off before reemerging. 

“Hello,” Derek nodded at him. “Can I help you?”

“Yeah, about that,” Stiles rubbed his neck, hesitating. “Could you maybe give me a ride? My car died and my buddy Scott dropped me off here so I could talk to my dad. He was supposed to give me a ride home but he just got called out so now I’m stuck here. Normally I would wait around, but my dad said it could be a while and I’ve been traveling all day so I’m kind of exhausted. I kinda want to be in bed, you know? Not that…” He trailed off, blushing furiously. “Not like that. I wasn’t asking that! For that, from you. I just – need a ride. Home. I could use a ride home. If that’s okay.”

Derek didn’t know what to say. He wasn’t sure he had ever heard so many words from one person. He tried not to even think about that bit about the bed. That way lay madness, and probably heartache, and a lot of things Derek never wanted to experience again.

Still. He couldn’t just leave Stiles stranded. 

“Where do you live?” he asked. 

Stiles brightened. “Seriously, man?” He ran around the car and clambered in. “I owe you, seriously. I was not looking forward to being stuck at the station all night. It would have sucked.”

Derek climbed in on his side, taking the time to buckle his seatbelt and check his radio before pulling out of the lot. “Where do you live?” he asked again. 

“Oh! Right, duh.” Stiles rattled off an address, and proceeded to tell him where to turn and when. After they had driven for a few minutes, Stiles began eyeing Derek strangely. Derek tried not to see it. He was sure whatever it was, Stiles would tell him eventually. He already got the feeling that Stiles tended to talk more often than not. 

“So,” Stiles said slowly, drawing the “o” out. 

He knew Stiles would crack. 

“Yes, Stiles?”

Stiles paused. “I didn’t tell you my name,” he said, voice carefully neutral. 

“You’re my boss’s son,” Derek replied gruffly. “I know who you are.”

“Right, obviously,” Stiles nodded. 

Derek waited. When it became clear Stiles wasn’t going to continue, he rolled his eyes and sighed. “So?” he prompted. 

“So?” Stiles asked, before jumping. “Right! I was wondering, how do you feel about citizens using the speed gun?”

“I feel pretty negatively about it,” Derek told him. 

“I’ve done it before!” Stiles protested. “Come on, it’s eleven o’clock at night. What could it hurt?”

“You’ve done it before?” Derek asked dubiously. 

“Sure! With, you know, my dad,” Stiles trailed off. 

“On a ride-along?”

“Okay, yes, on a ride-along, but what does that matter?” 

“Well, you sign a release form, for one thing.”

Stiles gave Derek the biggest pair of puppy eyes Derek had ever seen. “Come on, Derek? Please?” 

God damn it. “Fine,” he huffed, pulling over onto a side street and parking. “Five minutes.”

Stiles cheered, dancing in his seat. “You’re the best!”

Derek began to regret his decision when Stiles started giving the speed gun sound effects. 

He absolutely did not find it funny or endearing. 

Five minutes turned into an hour. Stiles would aim the gun at cars coming toward them, and ask Derek to guess their speed before checking. More often than not, Derek was right. 

“Are you sure you don’t have superpowers?” Stiles demanded after the sixth car Derek had guessed. 

“Of course I do,” Derek said sarcastically. “The fact that I spend eight hours every day doing almost exactly this has nothing to do with it.”

Stiles narrowed his eyes at Derek before turning back to the road. “I knew it.”

It was after midnight when Derek reluctantly put the car in drive again. “I should get you home.”

“I guess,” Stiles said. “I really should get some sleep.”

Derek nodded, eyes on the road. When they were pulled over, goofing around and having fun, everything had felt natural. Hanging out with Stiles had been easy in a way nothing had been for a long time. It was hard to remember that this was a one-time deal, a fluke that he would probably be reliving for a long time to come. 

Once they reached the Stilinski’s home, Stiles hesitated, fiddling with his seat belt. “I had fun, tonight.”

Stiles’ voice was quiet, like he wasn’t sure if Derek had enjoyed having him around. “I had fun too,” he assured him. It was probably the most fun he had had in a long time, to  
be honest, but he wasn’t about to tell Stiles that.

“I’ll see you around,” Stiles said firmly, like it was more than the usual pleasantry. It was a promise. 

“Okay,” Derek said. He smiled shyly. “I look forward to it.”

Stiles’ smile in response was so bright that ten minutes later, when Derek was back out on patrol, he still felt a little dazed from it. 

After that, Derek seemed to find Stiles everywhere. He was at the meat counter when Derek was buying groceries. He was at Starbucks when Derek stopped in to grab a coffee. He was at the library, manning the help desk when Derek popped in on his day off to get something to read. 

He supposed that last one wasn’t really a coincidence, since Stiles worked there. 

And it absolutely was not the reason Derek went, whatever Laura and Cora might think. 

Most of all, Stiles always seemed to be at the station. Whenever the Sheriff worked late, Stiles would stop by with some tea, or to check in. One morning, at the end of Derek’s shift, Stiles came in with a box of donuts and bagels, beaming. 

“It’s Police Officer Appreciation Day,” Stiles told him seriously while Derek looked through the box for a cinnamon bagel. 

“I don’t think that’s a real thing,” he said absently as he pulled out and peered at a bagel. “Does that look like cinnamon to you?”

“Here.” Stiles pulled one from the bottom and handed it to Derek. “Of course it’s real. Today I’m appreciating all the delightful police officers in my life. I’m even letting my dad have a donut.”

Derek caught a glimpse of the Sheriff in his office, inhaling a chocolate glaze looking like he was experiencing nirvana. “How kind of you.”

“That’s the kind of guy I am,” Stiles said modestly. “Where are you off to?”

Derek snorted. “I’m going to sleep. That’s kind of what I do when it’s seven in the morning and I’ve been working all night.”

“Oh. Right.” Stiles paused. He looked conflicted about something, although Derek couldn’t possibly guess why he looked so uncertain. “Do you like tea?” he blurted out. 

“Tea?”

“It’s just – I know when my dad used to work third shift, he would get really bad headaches, from the irregular sleep schedule. My mom would make him tea when he got home, to help him sleep. I thought, maybe, I could show you what type of tea he drank. At Starbucks.”

Derek blinked, trying to catch up with what Stiles was trying to say. “I could go for some tea,” he said slowly. 

Stiles grinned. “Well how ‘bout that? So could I!”

Somehow, Derek and Stiles transitioned from running into each other by accident, to talking on purpose. Derek came home from Starbucks to find Stiles had put his phone number into his cell without Derek noticing, and he would use it to text Derek throughout the day. Often when Derek would wake up around 3, it was to find his inbox full of random thoughts and questions from Stiles. 

Derek still thought Stiles was the most attractive man he had ever seen. Seeing Stiles – especially when it was unplanned, if they just happened to bump into each other – still made him breathless. But it was more than that. 

He thought they might be friends. 

In September, they hired a new cop to second shift. Deputy Parrish was 24, and fresh out of the army. He seemed nice enough, but since they were on different shifts, Derek didn’t give him much thought. He didn’t see how it would concern him. 

It was maybe two weeks later when Derek first noticed it. Derek was early for his shift, and decided to chat with Melinda, who worked the front desk. She was a middle-aged woman who had always gone out of her way to be kind to Derek. When he was a kid and had to give his statement to the police about Kate, he remembered her bringing him a snack and sitting with him. He had a bit of a soft spot for her. 

Melinda was in the middle of a story about her niece’s karate class when he heard the sound of Stiles’ laughter, coming from the hallway. A moment later Stiles walked into the bullpen, an arm slung companionably over Parrish’s shoulder as they talked. 

Derek thought he had been fine with the way things were with Stiles. He knew Stiles had other friends, a group that had been together since high school. He spoke often of his best friend, Scott, and all the trouble they used to get into. He never resented Stiles having a healthy social life when Derek didn’t. Stiles deserved to be constantly surrounded by people, who admired and appreciated what a great person he was. 

But Derek had never hated anything more immediately or more fiercely than he hated that arm around Parrish. 

How did they even know each other? Parrish just started here. Stiles had never mentioned a Parrish when he talked about high school. And if they just met, how could Stiles be so comfortable with him already? It wasn’t until the third time they got tea together that Stiles so much as tapped Derek on the shoulder to let him know his drink was ready. 

“Sweetie?” Melinda asked, jerking Derek out of his thoughts. “Everything okay?”

“Yeah, of course,” Derek said. “Why wouldn’t it be?”

“Mm-hm,” she replied as she pulled out her crossword. “If you say so.”

Derek was opening his mouth to retort when he was interrupted. “Derek!” Stiles hurried over, tugging Parrish along with him. “You know Parrish, right?”

“We’ve met,” Derek said tersely. Stiles’ arm was still around Parrish. 

“He was just telling me about his time with the Hazardous Device Team,” Stiles said.

Parrish ducked his head in embarrassment. “It’s not a big deal,” he told Derek. 

“Of course it is!” Stiles scoffed. “It’s awesome! I work in a library. The most exciting thing that’s happened to me is the day we ran out of sit-upons for story hour.”

“Don’t exaggerate,” Derek told him. “You were like a little kid when that rare book collection came through.”

“Well, yeah,” Stiles said, grinning. “I guess I was.”

Derek shook his head. “Nerd.”

“Bully,” Stiles laughed. 

“Stiles, do you still want to see that website I was telling you about?” Parrish interrupted, smiling apologetically at Derek. “Sorry, it’s just that I was telling Stiles about this site that auctions antique books and I said I would show it to him before I have to go.”

“No, you’re right!” Stiles said enthusiastically. “If there’s anything I need, it’s a new way to waste money. Lead on!” He waved to Derek before walking back to Parrish’s desk. 

Derek wasn’t sure what just happened. It was immature of him, but he had had a sort of monopoly on hanging out with Stiles around the station. They sought each other out whenever they were around. Stiles liked the other officers, but he had never preferred the company of another officer over Derek, except for the Sheriff. The Sheriff tended to throw Stiles out when he bugged his dad, though. He claimed that Stiles got overly interested in the open cases.

“I should get dressed,” Derek mumbled to Melinda. 

“Oh, honey,” she sighed. Derek rushed to the locker room before she could try to give him life advice. He knew she thought she could help, but he just wanted to forget the whole encounter. 

Life changed after that. Derek often came into work to find Stiles lounging by Parrish’s desk, laughing and chatting. Their conversations became peppered with “Parrish said this” or “Parrish told me this awesome story today”. 

It was obvious what was going on. Parrish was incredibly attractive. He had bright blue eyes, blond hair, and was in great shape. More than that, he was smart, and witty, and could match Stiles in conversation. Stiles liked him. Derek couldn’t blame him for that. Parrish was very impressive. 

That didn’t stop his heart from hurting, every time Stiles excitedly told Derek something Parrish had done that day, or a joke he had heard from him. 

“You have to stop moping,” Cora told him finally, while they were gathered at their mom’s house, carving pumpkins for Halloween. “It’s getting pathetic.”

“What’s pathetic?” Laura walked into the kitchen, dumping her pumpkin on the table before grabbing a marker to outline her design. 

“Derek’s pining again,” Cora said. 

“Oh,” Laura rolled her eyes. “Yeah, for God’s sake, Derek. Just ask him out already.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he muttered as he stabbed into his pumpkin. 

“Really?” Cora asked. “Because he’s basically all you talk about.”

Derek flushed. “That doesn’t matter. Stiles and I are friends.”

Laura set her marker down. “I know you haven’t dated in a long time, Der. And I know you’re scared of being hurt again,” she said quietly. “But don’t you want to be happy?”

“I am happy,” Derek protested. 

“No,” Laura corrected. “You’re content. You’ve been coasting for years, Derek, never getting too invested in anything or anyone. When Stiles showed up it was the first sign of life we’d seen in you in a long time. What you and Stiles have is something special. You have the chance for something more than just drifting along.”

Derek stared down at the table, fingers clenched around his knife. He didn’t know what to say. How could he explain that for the longest time, he hadn’t felt like he was worth anything more? That the mere idea of trying terrified him? 

“You don’t have to do anything right now,” Laura said, resting a hand over his. “Just think about it. Okay?”

Derek nodded shakily, squeezing Laura’s hand once before letting go and picking his knife up again. “Okay.”

“For what it’s worth, I think you’re wrong about Stiles,” Cora piped up. “He checks your ass out way too often for you to be just friends.”

Derek’s knife slipped, and he cut a gash through the side of his pumpkin’s face while his sisters laughed. 

Later, Stiles told him very seriously that it made his pumpkin look like a badass pirate and Derek tried to pretend that he had been going for that all along. 

He told himself he wouldn’t pay attention to his sisters, but soon found it was impossible. The idea of being with Stiles was addictive. He couldn’t think about anything else. What was the appeal in paying his bills when he could daydream about cuddling with Stiles in front of his fireplace? How could he pay attention to folding his laundry when he started imagining Stiles wearing his clothes, padding around his loft in Derek’s sweats?

It wasn’t long before he began seriously considering it. Maybe Cora had been right. Maybe Stiles did like him. He had never been very good at reading other people, and Stiles did enjoy spending time with him. 

Maybe Stiles wanting to be with him wasn’t such a crazy idea after all. 

Admitting it was a possibility was hard enough. Imagining doing something about it scared Derek so much he ended up calling Erica for advice. Twenty minutes later, she was on his doorstep with Isaac and Boyd, holding beer and a bag of cookies. 

“What?” Derek asked suspiciously when he opened the door. 

“We’re here to help!” Erica pushed her way past him into the apartment. Boyd shrugged and followed, Isaac clapping him on the shoulder as he passed. 

“You know, it’s not that important,” he tried to say as they made themselves comfortable in his living room. Isaac immediately picked up Luna and started petting her. “I shouldn’t have called you, I’m sure you have things to do.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Erica said airily as she cracked open a beer. “You haven’t asked someone out since that disaster with the English teacher a few years ago. You’re going to need us to talk you through this.”

Derek sighed and sat down. There was no arguing with Erica when she got like this. He was better off just going along for the ride. 

Isaac handed him a beer after he sat down. “Good choice,” he smirked. His traitor cat meowed in what he could only assume was agreement.

Erica sniffed and passed over the cookies. “We got your favorites,” she announced. “From that bakery downtown? In case you need the chocolate.”

“I’m not a girl,” Derek said before grabbing several. 

“Yeah, like only women eat their feelings,” Erica rolled her eyes. “You should have seen Isaac when we watched Titanic. He ate an entire pie.”

“Hey!” Isaac hissed. “You said you would never tell anyone about that!”

“Maybe we should focus on Derek,” Boyd interjected.

“We don’t have to,” Derek said again. “Really. It’s fine. I’ll be fine.”

“Saying the word “fine” over and over doesn’t make it any more true,” Erica said waspishly. “Honestly, I know you’re freaking out, but this isn’t that hard. What’s something you both like?”

Derek thought for a second. “We both like those coffee cakes from Starbucks.”

Erica grabbed a coaster and threw it at his head. “You better not be serious right now.”

“They are good,” Boyd commented, earning himself his own coaster to the head. 

“What about sports?” Isaac cut in before things could get more violent. Erica tended to fight dirty, and Derek still hadn’t replaced the armchair she broke the last time. 

“We both like the Lakers,” Derek said. 

“Okay!” Erica said encouragingly. “There’s a big game next week, right? Why don’t you ask him over to watch it? You can make him dinner, watch the game, make out on the couch for a bit.”

Derek considered it. The plan wasn’t a bad one. It was pretty low key, but he still thought they would both have fun. “It is my day off,” he admitted. 

“Perfect!” Erica clapped her hands. “It’s settled. Text him.”

“What – now?” Derek blinked at her. 

“Yes, now,” she snapped. “That way I know you actually did it.”

Derek groaned and pulled out his phone. He really needed to find less bossy people to hang out with. At least his sisters weren’t here. Whenever they teamed up with Erica to manage his life, terrifying things happened. 

_Hey, Lakers game is my night off this week. Want to watch at my place? I’ll provide dinner _

There. Derek threw his phone onto the couch and grabbed Luna from Isaac. He needed to cuddle his cat right now. “Sent it,” he said. “So, who wants to get drunk?”

“Nu-uh,” Erica snatched his beer away. “You cannot text him drunk. That is the worst idea.”

“Come on,” Derek pleaded. Erica narrowed her eyes, unmoved. Derek huffed and turned to Boyd. “Please?”

“Have a cookie,” Boyd said, handing him the bag. 

Derek was petulantly eating his fourth cookie when his phone beeped. Erica started bouncing impatiently as Derek fumbled to open the message. 

_Sounds fun! I think the game’s at 9 so 7 work for you?_

Derek let out a shaky breath. This was real. This was happening. “He said yes,” he said. “I can’t believe he said yes.”

“I can,” Isaac said. “He talks about you all the time.”

Derek tried not to about Stiles and Isaac hanging out and talking about him, and chose to focus on the positive. 

He had a date with Stiles on Friday. 

The week passed in a blur. Derek knew that he went to work, fed Luna, and hung out with his family. He barely remembered any of it. The bright spots were the moments he spent with Stiles at the station. He didn’t even mind Parrish hanging around, talking about the new Star Wars movie with Stiles. Parrish didn’t have a date with Stiles, so Derek decided he could be more magnanimous about his presence. 

Derek had Thursdays and Fridays off, so he spent all of Thursday helping his dad clean the gutters and do other odd jobs around their house. It was better than sitting in his apartment, worrying, and he liked pitching in where he could to keep his dad off his feet. That night he barely slept, tossing and turning all night. His stomach was in knots, imagining all the ways it could go wrong. Derek wasn’t sure if he wanted Friday night to come immediately, or never come at all. Eventually, around 5:30, he gave up and rolled out of bed. 

Derek spent the morning cleaning everything he could find in his apartment. Logically, he was sure there was no need for his linen closet to be organized by color, but doing something with his hands made him feel a little less like vomiting his feelings away. 

After lunch, Derek set to work making dinner. He had spent a lot of time trying to decide what to cook for Stiles. It was a casual date, so he didn’t want to do anything too fancy, but a part of him still wanted to do something impressive, just to show off that he could. 

He eventually decided on a sautéed lemon garlic chicken, with a side of rice and broccoli. It was easy to make, and tasted delicious but not like he was trying too hard.  
Derek had already bought all the groceries he needed the day before, including a wine that he’d had to ask his Uncle Peter for help choosing. That had been a horrifically embarrassing conversation, but he’d suffered through it because he wanted everything tonight to be perfect. 

It was well on its way, if he did say so himself. After a torturous ten minutes standing in front of his closet, staring blankly at his clothes as if he’d never seen them before, he received a text from Erica, telling him to wear the dark jeans that hugged his ass, and his light blue button down.

He toyed with the idea of ignoring her and picking something himself, but he had to admit it wasn’t like he had any ideas. 

The table was set, candles lit, and Derek was just putting the chicken on the heat when his phone rang. Derek hurried over to the counter to see Stiles’ name flashing on his caller ID. Why would he be calling? He wasn’t supposed to be here for another half an hour. 

“Hey, Stiles,” he said. 

“Hey!” Stiles sounded strange. He frowned at the phone, trying to figure out what was wrong with his voice. He had never heard Stiles sound like that before. 

“What’s up?” he asked once it became clear that Stiles wasn’t about to continue. 

“Listen,” Stiles began, and Derek’s heart sank. He knew what Stiles’ voice sounded like now. It sounded guilty. “I hate to do this, but would you be too put out if I cancelled? It’s just – and I won’t go if you don’t want me to, I mean I had plans with you first – but Parrish called me and he has these great tickets to the game tonight. Like, really great, they’re practically on the floor. He was going to go with one of his friends, but they bailed, and he asked me instead.”

Derek didn’t know what to say. He felt hollow, like Stiles had just taken a knife and gutted him. What was he supposed to say to him? Stiles obviously wanted to go. It’s not like he could have enjoyed himself now, knowing that Stiles didn’t want to be there, with him. 

Not when he could be out with Parrish. 

“It’s fine,” he said finally. 

“Are you sure?” Stiles asked. “You didn’t go to any trouble? You haven’t ordered pizza yet or anything?”

Derek looked at his stove, at his chickens sizzling merrily away. “No,” he said. “It’s no problem.”

“Okay!” Stiles said. Now that Derek had given the okay, he sounded excited. “Thanks for understanding, man. You’re the best.”

“Sure,” Derek said shortly. He didn’t want Stiles to thank him for releasing him to go date fucking Parrish. What he wanted was to hit something. 

“I’ll tell you all about it, okay?” Stiles promised. “I’ll even get a foam finger for you or something.”

“I’ll be fine,” Derek said. He always was. Fine. Nothing more. 

Stiles started to say something else but he couldn’t take it anymore, hanging up before Stiles could get a word out. 

Derek walked to his stove and stared at his food. Once it finished cooking, he took it off the heat and turned off the stove. He walked to the cabinet and grabbed some Tupperware containers. Maybe he could give the food to Erica and Boyd. He had made it for them before and they had liked it. 

Derek set about cleaning the kitchen as if on autopilot. He put the food inside the fridge, and began setting his plates and silverware away again. He blew out the candles and folded the tablecloth, putting it back in his linen closet, in the section for red linens. 

He walked upstairs, and he broke down. 

Derek curled in a ball on his bed. He felt utterly small. Replaceable. Worthless. Who was he, to try to compete with someone like Parrish? Like watching a game on TV was as good as watching it in person. Like Derek’s grumpy personality and quiet ways could compare to Parrish’s exciting life and easygoing nature. Parrish made friends everywhere he went. Elderly women baked him cookies and dropped them off at the station on an almost weekly basis. The Sheriff loved Parrish. He was probably thrilled his son was going out with his best cop. 

Parrish had probably never hurt anyone, not really. Derek bet Parrish had never made a mistake so big he almost ruined the lives of everyone he cared about.  
In all honesty, Stiles was better off. Parrish would be able to care for him. They would have a beautiful life together. Derek could see it now. A house, bursting with laughter and jokes. Kids with Parrish’s hair, or Stiles’ eyes. Maybe if Derek was lucky, Stiles would come to pick Parrish up from his shift, and he could still spend a few minutes talking to Derek.  
Probably not. Why would he need to? 

Derek was just a loser who’d been popular over a decade ago, and now could barely hold onto friends he didn’t meet through his family. His closest companion was his cat. He had nothing to offer Stiles, or anyone. He was just there, existing on the fringes of other people’s lives. He was never the first person anyone called to hang out with, never the guy you went to for advice or a laugh. 

He thought he might be that guy for Stiles. 

Luna hopped onto his bed and lay down next to him, purring. Derek reached for her and began to cry. 

The next morning, Derek awoke from a fitful night’s sleep to the sound of his phone buzzing?

_So?? Details!_

Derek grimaced. He didn’t want to tell Erica what had happened. Not yet. He needed more time to be alone with his disappointment before inviting everyone he knew to be a part of it. 

Erica had never been very good at being ignored, however. 

_Derek??_

_Talk to me!!_

_The reason you’re ignoring me better because you’re getting some sweet Stiles lovin’._

_OTHERWISE I WILL KILL YOU_

Derek turned off his phone after that, and got up to feed Luna and change into some sweats before getting back into bed and pulling the covers over his head.

A few hours later he awoke to a pounding on his door. 

“Derek Hale!” Erica yelled. “I will not be ignored, no matter how hot the ass!”

To be honest, she stayed away longer than he’d thought she would. Derek resigned himself to his fate and stumbled down the stairs. 

Erica was tapping her heels impatiently when he opened the door. 

“Well?” she demanded. “What do you have to say for yourself? I listen to you whine, I help you ask him out, I tell you what to wear, and this is how you repay me?” Erica frowned. “Wait a second. What’s wrong with you?”

“Erica, I’d rather not –" he said as she swept past him. 

Erica was walking around his apartment, frowning at the spotless floors and empty kitchen. “What happened?” she asked quietly. 

Derek shrugged, and tried his best to look not the least bit bothered with how things turned out. “He cancelled.”

Erica stared at him, her eyes going cold and flinty. “He cancelled.” 

“Yeah,” Derek had to look away from her. It was much easier staring at his shoes than her judgmental face. “Parrish had courtside tickets to the game. I told him it was fine.”

“Let me get this straight,” Erica said slowly. “He bailed on you to go out with someone else?”

Derek shrugged again. 

“I’m going to kill him,” she hissed, striding towards the door. 

“Erica, wait!” Derek said, running after her. He caught her just as she got to the door, slamming it shut again. “It’s okay. I told him he could go.”

“Derek,” Erica said exasperatedly. “That doesn’t make it okay. Why did you tell him it was?”

“I just – I don’t know,” Derek said. “I always thought – Parrish will be good for him. He’s a good guy, and I know he likes Stiles. And Stiles likes him. It’s fine.”

“I want you to stop saying that word,” Erica said, pointing a finger in his face. “Derek Hale, you are not fine. You are amazing. And this situation,” she gestured wildly around her, trying to encompass the fucked up mess that was Derek’s life, “is definitely not fine. It is shitty. It’s okay for you to think it sucks, because it does. You didn’t deserve it.”

Against his will, Derek’s eyes begin to water again. “Don’t I?” he asked before he could stop himself. 

Erica’s eyes widen sympathetically and the next thing he knew, he was being hugged within an inch of his life. “Tell you what,” she said from where her face was pressed into his neck. “Why don’t we watch Law and Order: SVU and eat crap until we forget real life?”

“That sounds … good,” Derek said. “That sounds really good.”

Erica began tugging him to the living room. “Of course it does.”

“You know, the police system doesn’t really work like that.”

“Don’t be that guy,” Erica threw a pillow at his head. 

Erica and Derek spent the rest of the day watching TV and not talking about anything but the show, snacks, and Luna’s adorable cat antics. When Erica got up to leave, hours later, Derek pressed the food from last night into her hands. 

“Take it,” he said when she opened her mouth to protest. “I won’t eat it, but it shouldn’t go to waste.”

Erica nodded, her hair falling in a curtain around her face as she ducked her head. When she looked up Derek barely had a moment to see she had begun to cry before she was hugging him again. 

“You are a great guy, Derek,” she whispered fiercely. “If someone doesn’t see that, they’re an idiot. I don’t care if it’s Stiles or anyone else. You got that?”

“Yeah,” Derek agreed, patting her on the back. “Okay.”

Going into work the next day was hard. He tried to cut it as close as he could without being late, so he wouldn’t have to risk seeing Stiles. He was trying to get past his disappointment, but he didn’t think he could handle seeing Stiles and Parrish flirting and being happy in that way only new couples can. 

He managed to avoid seeing Stiles for a while. He came to work late, didn’t hang around after. Stiles tried texting him a few times, which he ignored. It wasn’t the mature way to deal with things, he knew, but it was all he could handle right now. Maybe one day they could be friends again, but not anytime soon. 

Things came to a head after two weeks. Derek was just getting off work, and walking into the parking lot to his Camaro when Stiles intercepted him. 

“What the hell, Derek?” He stood with his hands on his hips, scowling. 

Derek tried to scoot around him. “Not now, Stiles.”

“Really?” Stiles snapped. “Now’s not a good time? What about all the other times I’ve tried to talk to you? Those not good either?”

“Stiles,” Derek sighed, pinching his nose. It had been a long shift. He had been called to a domestic around 3 in the morning, and he had spent the rest of the night doing  
paperwork. 

“What, Derek? Why are you avoiding me?” Stiles demanded. “What the hell could I have done to deserve this? I thought we were friends.” Stiles voice wobbled at the end, and Derek felt his chest ache. He wasn’t even with Stiles and he was hurting him. 

“Stiles, I just – I need time,” Derek said. “I’m trying to be happy for you, really, but I need time, okay?”

“Time for what?” Stiles asked. “What does that even mean? Time to think of a good excuse? Time to find something better to do than talk to your boss’s nerdy son?”

“It means I’m trying to get over you, and I fucking need time, okay?” Derek snapped.

Stiles froze. “What?” he croaked. 

“I get that you’re happy now or whatever, but it’s hard for me,” Derek said desperately. “It’s hard for me to watch you be happy with someone else, because I am so fucking gone on you it is ridiculous. I can’t stand the idea of you with him, and I know that’s really immature and weird of me, but there it is.”

Stiles didn’t say anything. His eyes had gone wide and he hadn’t moved since Derek started talking. 

Derek abruptly felt ashamed of lashing out like that. “I’m sorry,” he said gruffly. “I have to go.” While Stiles was distracted, he slipped into his car and drove away. 

Derek had only been sleeping for a few hours when a pounding on the door woke him up. He hoped this wasn’t going to become a thing with his friends. He really enjoyed sleeping. It’d be nice if he ever got to do it. 

“Erica, for God’s sake,” he started to say as he swung open the door. 

Stiles stood, trembling, on his doorstep. “Can I come in?” he asked hesitantly. 

What was he doing here? Hadn’t Derek embarrassed himself enough already? “Sure,” he said, stepping aside to let him through. 

Stiles took a few steps into his foyer before spinning around. “I need to understand,” he said. “Please, Derek, you have to talk me through this like I’m an idiot because I’ve been going over it for hours and I don’t understand.”

“What’s there to understand?” Derek walked past him and sat down on the couch. 

“What did you mean, someone else?” Stiles asked as he followed him. “Why do you think there’s someone else? Because,” Stiles swallowed, “I gotta tell you, man, there’s no one else. Like ever. It’s absurd how much I like you and how much I want to be with you and I don’t understand. Why we aren’t doing that. And why you think I would ever want someone else.”

Now Derek didn’t understand. Why would Stiles tell him this? Was he trying to be cruel? “I don’t know,” he said finally. “Why would you blow off our date to go out with Parrish?”

Stiles looked confused. “Our date?” Derek refused to answer, and after a moment Stiles exhaled heavily. “Oh. Friday, with the game. That was a date.”

Derek shrugged. “Yeah. It’s no big deal, Stiles. I get it.”

“No!” Stiles cried. “You don’t get it, ‘cause I’m an idiot. Derek, I had no idea that was a date. Seriously, I didn’t.” Derek snorted. “I know, it was still shitty of me to blow you off to hang out with Parrish, but my dad asked me to take him under my wing or whatever. He doesn’t know anyone around here, and he doesn’t have a family, and Dad was worried about him. I shouldn’t have made you feel like I didn’t care about you.”

Derek didn’t know what to think. What Stiles was saying was kind of amazing, but he was reluctant to trust it, to believe that this was real. He had gotten his hopes up once already, and they had been trampled.

“I don’t know,” he said. 

“What do you need me to say?” Stiles asked frantically. 

Derek pushed himself up and started pacing. “I don’t know, Stiles! You – shit, you really hurt me, okay? I haven’t done this in a long time, and I actually thought you liked me.”

“I do!” Stiles said, hurrying over to where Derek stood. He grabbed Derek’s hands and wrapped them in his, staring intently into Derek’s eyes. “I do. I like you, Derek Hale. I will swear it on anything you want. I care about you, and I want to be with you, and I really, really would like seeing you naked. Please believe I never meant to hurt you,” he whispered. 

“Really?” Derek asked hesitantly. “I really thought you and Parrish –“

“Parrish is a cool guy,” Stiles said dismissively. “But he isn’t you. He isn’t sarcastic, he doesn’t like animals or tea or watching me look at old books in a museum all day.”

“I liked that exhibit,” Derek interrupted. 

Stiles shushed him before continuing. “Not now, I’m not finished praising you. You have the biggest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, Derek. I know you try to hide it sometimes. I know you were hurt once, and one day I would like you to tell me about it. But all I need to know is that you are incredible, and I’m happy when I’m with you, and I miss you when I’m not.”

The intensity in Stiles’ voice took Derek’s breath away. “Really?” 

“Please, Derek,” Stiles begged. “Give me another chance.”

In the end, Derek didn’t have a choice. Everything he wanted was standing right in front of him. Who was he to turn it away? “Okay,” he said. 

Stiles’ face lit up. “Yeah?” he asked, smiling. 

Derek nodded. “Yeah, you won me over.” Stiles whooped and pressed his lips to Derek’s. Derek froze for a moment, trying to wrap his mind around everything. Stiles began to pull away, clearly concerned about Derek’s lack of response, and that was just a terrible idea. Derek had waited months to kiss Stiles, he wasn’t about to let him go. He immediately deepened the kiss, licking and biting at Stiles’ mouth. Stiles moaned, opening his mouth to him and wrapped an arm around Derek’s waist, pulling their bodies together as they explored each other’s mouths. 

Derek eventually pulled away, panting. “Well, that was fun.”

Stiles started laughing, resting his forehead against Derek’s. “Ten out of ten, would recommend,” he said. 

Derek rolled his eyes and kissed him again. He couldn’t help it. Kissing Stiles was as addictive as everything else about him. 

When they separated the second time, Derek took a step back to distance himself from the temptation. “I really need to go back to bed,” he said sadly. “I’ve only slept for two hours, and I have work tonight.”

Stiles’ face fell. “I totally forgot you would be sleeping!” he groaned. “Shit, I’m so sorry, Derek, honestly. Go to bed, we can talk later.”

Derek hesitated. “Do you have work today?” He was pretty sure he didn’t, otherwise Stiles wouldn’t be free to stop by in the middle of the day, but he wanted to be sure. 

“No, it’s my day off. Why?”

“I just thought it would be nice – I mean, you don’t have to, obviously,” Derek stammered. He didn’t know how to ask for what he wanted without sounding like an idiot. It had been so long since he’d asked for things from people he’d forgotten how.

“What, Derek?”

“Sleep with me!” he blurted. Stiles’ eyes got comically wide, and he appeared to be choking on air. “Not like that,” he hurried to add. “Not that that wouldn’t be nice. More than nice. Great. It would probably be great, actually. But I just meant – would you like to sleep here, with me?”

Stiles was beaming by the time Derek finished babbling his way through his request. “I would love to,” he said before grabbing Derek by the hand and tugging him upstairs.  
“Nothing like a good mid-morning nap, I always say.”

As Derek and Stiles lay curled up in bed together, Stiles in a pair of borrowed sweatpants, and with Luna purring on Derek’s windowsill, Derek thought about the person he had once been. 

For the first time in his life, he didn’t miss the person he’d been in high school. Being who he was, now, is how he got Stiles.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! You can find me on tumblr at abravelittletoaster :)


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